


pristine

by orphan_account



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:35:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26069569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "You're leaving, aren't you?"
Relationships: Axl Rose/Izzy Stradlin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	pristine

It was the late summer of ninteen-ninety-one and Axl was leaning on the railing, looking down on the city while smoking a cigarette in the night. He watched the smoke linger in the air and the warm summer night breeze take it with itself. The city lights illuminated against his face, different colors littering his skin. The silent hum of cars and muffled voices around the hotel were the only sounds disturbing his tranquility tonight. His strawberry blond hair coated his face and only the tip of his nose could be seen from the side.

He looked tantalizing. 

His eyes glistened but it wasn't his usual glistening when he saw something that excited him or when he ran on the stage, no, his eyes were shimmering with tears. His fingers were trembling and they twitched when he brought the cigarette back between his lips. He let out a shaky breath, pressing the back of his palm against his lips in a failed attempt to muffle a sob.

Izzy sat in the corner of the balcony, own cigarette between his lips and eyes dripping with worry when they examined the redhead from behind, letting those dark orbs linger on Axl's bottom for a mere second too long for it to be considered friendly. He was surprised, to say the least. It was rare when Axl showed any kind of negative emotion except anger, and he expected him to either lash out or run out of the door any second. He was like a loaded gun, only a light press away from blasting and Izzy knew better than to touch that trigger.

When Axl glanced at him through wet eyelashes and warm tears, he kept his poker-face. He took a long drag from his cigarette while looking straight into Axl's eyes without a seeming care in the world. Axl glared at him but failed miserably when he tried to be imitating. Izzy's carelessness hurt him, burned into him, ripped him apart because Izzy had blown out his candle of hope. Hope that maybe there was a chance that Izzy liked him back, even if it was just a little bit, only a part of him which wasn't his body. But Izzy didn't care, he could cry his heart out or fall over the edge but Izzy would still finish his cigarette.

"Fuck you." Axl's voice was low, like a growl. He put out his cigarette against the railing while Izzy's eyebrows knitted together. He wiped away his tears and tried to silence his sobs but it was out of his control. Izzy chuckled at his desperate attempts, flicking the ashes into the ashtray.

"Usually we do it the other way around," Izzy sarcastically commented, leaning back in his chair and trying to enjoy the night, ignoring the crying and moaning Axl. But he couldn't help but glance at Axl every chance he got, watching the tear stains almost glow on Axl's cheeks when the city cast its light on his sharp features.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Axl croaked and turned back around to face Izzy, pressing his back against the railing and focusing his gaze on the brunet guitarist. Izzy merely shrugged, throwing a leg over his knee and lifting his chin. "Please, don't leave me. Please, Izzy, you can't leave me."

It was true, Izzy was one foot out of the band already and him leaving, was inevitable. Axl knew he was going, he knew there was nothing to hold him back because he wasn't enough. He wasn't enough for Izzy and why would somebody like him want to spend the rest of his times with a bipolar lunatic? But their friendship had worked. Axl was the stormy one, going all over the places like a hurricane that just wouldn't die down, and Izzy was the serene one and he held Axl back. His movements were slow and steady compared to Axl's and it calmed the redhead. They were perfect, but Axl could feel him slip away, get bored of babysitting him always and when the other band members couldn't deal with him, Izzy had to work out their conflicts. He was getting bored.

"I'm done, Axl. So fucking done." He swiftly stood up, pushing the cheap metal chair against the wall and Axl winched at the piercing sound when the legs dragged against the balcony's stone flooring. Axl's hands wrapped around the railing, squeezing so tight his knuckles turned white. "I'm done with you and your stupid fucking mood swings all the time. I'm fed up with your diva ass always complaining and whining and raining on my parade. I’m sick of your disrespect towards myself, towards the other guys, towards the fans and every other human being. You’re nothing special.”

"I'll be good, I'll be so good, trust me. I-I won't walk off stage, I promise I won't. And I'll turn up on time, I'll fix that. And—And I'll quit being a fucking pain in the ass, I'll be quiet, I'll be whatever you want. Tell me what you want me to change and I'll do it. Whatever you want, just please, don't leave me," he cried while taking a fistful of Izzy's shirt and pulling him against his chest.

Izzy almost lost his balance because of the shift movement and grabbed onto the railing, both arms on either side of Axl and towering over the shorter man. They were so close, Izzy could smell Axl's shampoo and feel his warm breathing hitch in his throat. Axl's buried his face in the crook of Izzy's neck while clinging onto his shirt, pulling him as close as possible.

"Don't go, I'll do anything if you just—if you just stay. I can't do it without you," he sobbed and Izzy leaned forward so Axl's back arched over the railing, his hair flying in the wind. As most of Axl's weight was on the railing, Izzy could remove his hand and bring the dying cigarette back between his lips. He took a last, long drag before putting it out and throwing it into the ashtray.

"I'm replaceable, you said it yourself."

"I say a lot of shit, you know I didn't mean it. Forget what I said, nobody can fucking replace you. Please, I'll do whatever you want—Izzy, please."

"There's nothing you can do about it. Nothing's gonna make me stay. Only a few more shows and I'm out," Izzy whispered, earning a loud, sickening sob which was muffled into his neck.

"You can't do that to me!" Axl rapidly shook his head, clinging harder onto Izzy as if he let go, the raven-haired man would fade. Izzy's hand was drawing gentle circles on Axl's back in a comforting manner but there was nothing comforting in his ice-cold touch. Axl had sensed it for a while. How Izzy's hands were getting colder and colder whenever he touched him, Izzy was slipping from his grip no matter how hard he held onto. "At least give me a goodbye to remember," he murmured.

"That can be arranged." He smirked, his touch still icy but softer when he grabbed Axl's chin to lift it so their eyes met. He pressed his lips against Axl's and it was slow at first but soon Izzy's rough tongue was exploring the insides of his mouth. Then it was just teeth and tongue, nothing to do with feelings. Izzy handled him like a doll, grabbing and pushing, doing as he pleased and Axl never refused, at least he was touched by Izzy, that's all that mattered.

Izzy basically dragged him by the waist inside the hotel room and threw him onto the bed without any caution. He waisted no time to crawl on top of Axl, pulling off his shirt and grabbing a fistful of Axl's red hair to pull his head back. He dragged his lips on Axl's neck before finding a specific spot he liked and bit down. Axl moaned, his hands hooking behind Izzy's neck as he worked on his jaw, biting, kissing, sucking the delicate skin, leaving behind angry bruises. He let his fingers tangle in Axl's hair while his other hand traveled down his body.

"Fuck, Iz," Axl breathed out, his lips slightly parted and eyes squeezed tightly shut when Izzy palmed him through his tight jeans. Izzy ended up pulling away to take off his own shirt, tossing it somewhere along with Axl's shirt on the floor. Axl ran his hands over Izzy's chest and the guitarist grabbed one of them, bringing it to his lips to softly kiss the knuckles. Axl was caught by surprise by the sudden affection but it was soon forgotten when Izzy kissed him again.

It was needy and sloppy. Axl could taste the mellow whiskey on Izzy's tongue and he assumed Izzy could taste the same cigarettes on his lips. Izzy grabbed the back of his thigh and pulled it up, spreading his legs as his hand searched through the nightstand, never pulling away from the kiss. Axl kissed him back with such as much force, his body sensitive to any kind of touch from Izzy.

He was too focused on Izzy's rough hand running up and down his side and his mouth traveling down his neck and chest until reaching his nipple, to notice Izzy grabbing a bottle of lube from the drawer. He fidgeted with the button of his jeans before finally getting it open and kicking the jeans off, Izzy's fingers immediately coming to contact with his bare skin, lusting over him. He could see it in Izzy's eyes how much he wanted him, how much he craved for him, and the physical affection was enough for him.

"I'm gonna fuck you senseless. Gonna fuck you so good that even the people down the hallway know my fucking name," Izzy whispered into his ear, earning a deep, throaty moan and he victoriously smirked. "And you won't be able to walk tomorrow."

"Fucking hell, Izzy." Axl whimpered as Izzy kissed his collarbone while pulling his boxers down his legs. This was what he needed, Izzy pressed right against him so there was nothing between them, not even air. He ached at the thought of this potentially being their last time, tears continuing to run down his face but Izzy didn't even knowledge it. He was desperate and he knew it, it was only Izzy who could see him a state like this; naked, crying, and begging. Izzy was the only person who could bring him to his knees, and he had been doing it since high school. "Please."

"Please what?" he smirked and stopped his movements, leaning his weight on his elbows and doing nothing with his hands. Axl whined and tried to kiss him but Izzy pulled away. "Please what?" he repeated and Axl groaned.

"Please—Just,"

"Say it. Say it out loud. I wanna hear you beg. Say it, Axl."

"Fuck me. There, I said it. Please, just fuck me already, goddamnit!" he almost screamed, pressing his erection against Izzy's hip. He pressed his sweaty lips back on Izzy's as the man opened the bottle of lube with one hand, pulling away for a second to smear it on his fingers. "Jesus, fuck, Izzy."

He pressed his lube covered fingers inside, slowly and carefully, not to rip Axl apart before they even get started. He pushed away the hairs that stuck to Axl's face with sweat and pressed his lips against his temple to distract him from the rough fingers stretching him. The pressure of Izzy's fingers rubbing his insides made him moan, curling his toes as he squirmed beneath him. Izzy leaned his forehead against Axl's shoulder, holding himself back from nonchalantly shoving himself inside, even though the thought was tempting.

"You're so pretty," he mumbled against Axl's shoulder while adding another finger, earning a small whimper and a high-pitched moan. He lifted his head and gave Axl a warning look when he tried to get his fingers deeper. "All spread out like this for me. A good little slut, just for me, yeah?"

It aroused Izzy. He loved humiliating him and seeing his face turn bright red. In the end, they were pounded to go down in fire and flames. They were never meant to be and their relationship was nothing but unhealthy. Axl knew Izzy would never want him for more than a quick fuck, just to have fun, he knew there could never be anything between them. Izzy liked different kinds, Axl was too much for him. But Axl let Izzy have him, wherever and whenever. He didn't stop when he noticed he was falling for Izzy, and he wasn't naive enough to think Izzy would want him too, which was self-destruction at its finest.

Izzy pulled out his fingers and soon he was lining himself up with Axl's entrance. Axl was still whining from the loss of contact, peering at Izzy's sweat coated face through hazy eyes. He gasped, his arms falling onto the mattress and gripping the sheets as hard as he could when Izzy began pushing himself inside. His body jerked and tensed before slowly relaxing again, scrunching up in pain but he didn't tell Izzy to slow down or take a break so he could adjust. So, Izzy didn't. He continued pushing himself further and when he was fully inside, he impatiently waited for a green light from Axl.

"Izzy, move," he gritted between his teeth, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Izzy started moving again, slow and gentle, almost as if Axl would break under too much pressure even though all he wanted to do that night, was ruin him. Utterly fucking ruin him, make Axl remember him for the rest of his life. He thrust into him with a low groan, pressing their foreheads together and letting their lips lightly brush against each other.

Axl arched against Izzy as his hands traveled from the sheets back to holding Izzy's face and the back of his neck. The bed rocked against the wall from each careful, deep thrust and he felt like he might just fall apart right then and there. Izzy brought his hand back from Axl's waist to balance himself on his elbows, fingers pulling Axl's hair hard enough for it to hurt while finding a comfortable position where his hips were easily rolling and doing most of the work.

"More," Axl whimpered and pulled him in for another kiss which Izzy gladly accepted. Izzy pulled out for a brief moment only to slam back into him forcefully, making him cry out. When he hit the specific spot inside of him, Axl let out a throaty moan along with a chocked out grunt, dragging his short nails across Izzy's back and leaving behind a trail of cherry red tracks. It sent delicious sparks of pleasure down his spine.

All Izzy could hear was Axl's half chocked out moans of his name and skin slapping. Axl was shaking beneath him from overstimulation, more tears shimmering in his ocean blue eyes but Izzy kept up his brutal pace. Axl felt a sting of shame for how close he was already, every hit to his prostate dragging him closer to the edge.

"Harder. Fuck," he breathed out with a whimper, his back arching. He threw his head back on the pillow as Izzy quickened his speed, ramming into him like there was no tomorrow. He looked down at the redhead, Axl’s lips parted and salvia running down his chin. Axl pulled him back against his chest and bit onto his shoulder with eyes squeezed closed when he felt Izzy deeper than before, hitting and missing his spot while recklessly pounding into him.

"Good?" Izzy grunted out, almost losing control while listening to Axl's heavenly noises. He began kissing Axl's jawline, constantly gritting his teeth and heavily breathing against Axl's face.

"Ye—Yeah," he growled in response and opened his eyes for mildly ten seconds before squeezing them close so tightly, he saw stars. "I'm c-close. So close."

Izzy kept up the pace and jerked Axl's jaw towards him to pull him in for another sloppy and messy kiss. His free hand moved between them to grasp at Axl's rock-hard and aching dick, stroking quickly, keeping his attention on the head. Axl gripped onto Izzy's back, dragging his nails across the hot skin, leaving a new set of scratches.

It was all too much, it was better than the other times. He could barely breathe and his head was filled with white noise, drowing in the pool of pleasure. He listened to Izzy's ricked breathing, mixed with a mumble of curses as his movements became sloppier, slower. Before he had a chance to really warn Izzy, he finished. His head jerked back and his grip loosened around Izzy's neck.

Izzy pressed his lips into a thin line, only tasting Axl in the mixture of sweat and cigarettes he smoked before. His thrust became uneven and with a deep groan of Axl's name, he followed over the edge. Axl's body relaxed when he pulled out, his heart pounding in his chest and limbs heavy.

"Holy fuck," Izzy murmured and flopped down beside Axl, pulling the sheets over his lower half and trying to catch his breath. He glanced at Axl who had turned his back towards him, lying on his side and all Izzy could see was a mess of red hair. "You need to clean yourself up."

"I know." A silent response came as Izzy pushed himself up from the bed, grabbing his pair of boxers on the edge of the bed and quickly pulling them on. He walked into the bathroom while taking a new cigarette from the pack, tossing Axl a towel and sitting back on the mattress, right next to Axl's feet. "I love you."

Axl watched the light flicker while cleaning himself and the room light up for a second as Izzy light his cigarette. Izzy didn't even react to Axl's words, spending so many years with him, he had become just as heartless. He felt the mattress dip as Axl moved behind him and he knew Axl was waiting for some kind of a response but he had no intentions giving him a one. He ignored his presence instead.

"Please, don't leave me," he paused. "I love you," he repeated it, hoping it would make the brunet stay, even though he knew it wouldn't make a difference.

"D'you know what's the saddest part of all of this?" Izzy finally spoke, blowing out the smoke while Axl clung to his side, sad eyes looking up at him. Axl's fingers twitched as he took the cigarette from Izzy's grip, looking away from him while taking a long, very needed drag.

"What?"

"There was a time when I loved you too." His voice was quieter, almost scared to say it out loud. Axl stiffened and Izzy took the chance to take the cancer stick back. He gave him a look and stood up from the bed, putting on his clothes and struggling with the cigarette and all Axl did was watch him with wide eyes, bottom lip between his teeth while sitting on his knees.

"It was great while it lasted but all good things come to an end, right? Anyways, take care of yourself and the others. And you can forget about the 'few more shows', I'm out, I'm done." With that, he grabbed his hat from the balcony, set it on his head, and walked into the dark night. And there was nothing stopping him, Axl watched the love of his life walk out on him.

In a twisted way, he didn't expect Izzy to do it. They had known each other for too many years, he didn't expect Izzy to give up on them. But he did, and by the time Izzy was gone, he was overflowing with rage. Pure hatred. And when the sun started rising, the hotel room was unrecognizable and he was in a slumped mess in the middle, covered in his blood and tears, all alone again.

Everybody walked out of his life. One by one, they all went. He knew this day would come, but God, he had hoped it wouldn't.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not that experienced to writing smut lmao. I hope it wasn’t too bad. anyway, i moved from wattpad because fuck what place so hey i guess!


End file.
